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[ His eyebrow lifts. He has not exactly ever taken her for naive; her question would be fucking flippant if he didn't know better. Perhaps from anyone else, he'd assume such, but Himeka's not the type. She's a lot of things, but not. An ass. Or an idiot. As far as he's aware. He's been wrong before, but he likes to think he isn't about her.

It is lucky no one died. But it's hardly the point, either. He's already dragged one broken angel in; if Castiel took that much damage, he doubts it was a friendly joust in the middle of the crater.

And Yennefer may have had her reasons, but he also knows she doesn't draw on that much of her chaos unless she felt threatened enough to do so. It would consume her otherwise, if she isn't cautious. So the fact that days later, she still bears some injuries tells him a lot. ]

Himeka. [ He peers at her carefully, scrutinizing but a little uncertain, too. Like he wants to think better of her than what she's implying. ] Do not tell me you truly believe that.

[ There's clearly a disconnect here and she takes a moment, frowning slightly as she rests the fork on her knee. Geralt wasn't there, of course, but he has a very specific idea of what occurred. Truthfully she can only speak for the few battles she was part of, and to say that her face off with Goro wasn't intense would be a lie.

Come to think of it, he had very pointedly said it would be end for her...did he truly mean that in a final sense? She held no ill will against the other summoned upon entering or leaving, but that isn't to say it was the same for anyone. ]

I don't know what the directive given was at Cadens or Thorne, but the latter I doubt was anything lethal.

[ Despite the fact that Thorne is really the only one of the three factions she's seen sentence anyone to death, she's fully aware it was both Solvunn and the Free Cities who were interlopers here. Mission objective and defense makes the most sense for Thorne. Truthfully the Free Cities seems like the wild card and having gone against both an agent of Thorne and the Free Cities, it's definitely not Sasarai who was playing for broke.

Himeka shakes her head. ]

So no, I don't know what to believe of the others. But I can speak for what we were told when the mission was posited to us and what I considered going into it.

[ A long moment passes where he doesn't answer. Somehow, the fact that she seems so incredibly sincere is more baffling than if she were simply deflecting. He would understand the latter. She has her friend to protect. But he can't grasp the idea of acting on the word of those who continue to pull in more of the Summoned even now, and believe it meant to be an innocent excursion that would lead to no lasting consequences.

Besides, it is not just about this one incident. It's about what this says for the future, for what's to come. He doesn't like what he's seeing. Not in the Free Cities with their apprehension over magic, not in Thorne wrapped up in their alarm around the Singularity, and certainly not in how easily some of the Summoned are being swayed by missions taken at face value. He does not care about their politics, their conflicts, about who is in the wrong or right. But he does care about those he's come to consider a friend throwing themselves behind nation states that couldn't give less of a fuck about any them beyond what value to the cause they have to offer. And he cares about the rest getting caught up in that crossfire. ]

This world is kindling waiting to be set alight. If you and yours allow yourselves to be weaponized against those stolen from their homes as you were, then you are only feeding into the fears of these courts and councils.

[ She is willing to share all that happened and her reasonings behind her choices as she offered, but what he says in turn is not something she expects to hear--or rather, something she fears to hear. Geralt may not realize it but he has so directly touched on one of her long-standing insecurities, but it becomes apparent rather readily. She is a terrible liar, after all.

Himeka's brows raise and her eyes widen as the sky that was blue is suddenly bathed in a bright, oppressive light. The dragonets that were happily flying from tree to tree immediately seek cover beneath the boughs.

"If you and yours allow yourselves to be weaponized..."

It cuts in places she has kept safely covered over the years, only ever wanting to be useful and helpful to both friend and stranger alike. How she may have allowed herself to be misdirected even with the best of intentions is...something she has thought much about despite not wanting to. Something she should have been able to figure out for herself. ]

...Is that what you really think?

[ The sharp burst of light makes him squint. He frowns, turns to look because even though they're in the Horizon, instinct tells him the sky illuminating out of nowhere is a bad sign. Only when nothing else comes of it does he return his attention to Himeka.

Frankly, he didn't come here to provoke an epiphany. This was meant only as careful reminder of what should be important. Only now does he sense that it's as though the thought hadn't occurred to her—like she's never looked at it this way. He thinks of Estinien telling him he was trying to decide whether this world was more like his own or the one Geralt is so intimately familiar with. It'd seemed an irrelevant point then. How readily change can be wrought hasn't anything to do with how blind pursuit of duty so often leaves a path of ruin.

But Himeka is different. Not duty, exactly. Faith, innocently misplaced. He wonders, suddenly, despite all the battles and wars she's fought, if she's somehow never found herself astray. Abandoned, alone. Consumed by the kind of bitterness and loathing that threatens to swallow you whole. ]

Yes. [ There's a reason he isn't in Solvunn. He trusts no one who claims neutrality and yet sits so comfortably in the midst of all this fighting: harbouring prisoners, summons of their own, doling out missions. Solvunn has staked their own claim in this war. They just haven't said what it is. A wildcard at best. At least the Free Cities have been upfront about their aims.

He leans forward, his gaze fixed on Himeka. ] How long did it take the others to replicate Thorne's summoning spell? A handful of weeks? Chances are, they were already looking to make their own attempts long before we came. [ The Free Cities, shunning magic, and Solvunn claiming they have no interest in the Singularity. Both far less steeped in Thorne's powerful magics. And they succeeded that fucking fast? A ritual capable of ripping multiple people out of space and time? Hard to believe that it was a path they never considered until Thorne showed its hand. ] We are not their defenders. We are the cost to achieve their ends.

[ That's what he thinks...of everyone who participated? Of Yennefer? Or is she (and her comrades) a special case? She's not so self-centered or naïve to think that it would all be about her, but she can't speak of anything but her own experience. Nor would she want to take the voice away from someone who can speak for themselves.

It just...stings. Bringing up old fears she has been trying to avoid, things she knows that inherently aren't true but sometimes cannot help but feel her only use is on the battlefield, so why not respond where she is pointed? But no matter the setbacks, Himeka is determined to be more than that.

Himeka looks down at the tart in her lap for a moment. A quiet, thoughtful moment. Then she turns he gaze back up to the now too bright sky. ]

I was that foolish once.

[ She waves her hand, bidding the light recede until the dome above them turns into a blanket of stars instead. The sunless sea. ]

I didn't think about who or why I was fighting, only that I was supposedly the only one that could do it--this particular job. So why not? It was the least I could do in turn for the freedoms that were afforded to me otherwise.

[ She settles her gaze on Geralt. ]

And in turn, I was part of a plot that nearly doomed my comrades and undercut the alliances between nations we had strove so hard to achieve.

[ Himeka sighs, dropping her fork to her knee. ]

I have made my mistakes and I want to believe I've learned from them. Or...rather continue to learn from them. We may not have been brought here by choice, but we can still make choices while we're here. I didn't elect to participate on a whim, Geralt...and not simply because fighting seems to be the thing I am best at.

[ Well, cooking aside...she wants to be best at that. ]

It is precisely because Solvunn has decided to start Summoning as well. That they had welcomed us with little to no quarrel was a boon at first and something I thought was just because they are a society of...collective effort? Everyone working together. If they truly have no interest in the Singularity then why bring others here?

[ She shakes her head. ]

I don't buy it. And I have my suspicions about their gods as well--beings they are so devoted to to the degree that they believe they can weather the war by being under their protection. I know not what experience you have with that even though we have done similar work, but...the one thing I am equipped to do above most else is face off against false gods. What that may or may not have to do with the Singularity or their goals here, I can't say. They keep their secrets and I am not particularly sneaky myself, as you likely can tell.

[ At least she's self-aware enough for that. ]

I elected to heed their call because I want to know more and to do that, I need to gain their trust. I will admit I feel some semblance of understanding if it is true that the Singularity does have a natural cycle of waxing and waning given duties I've had in the past, but I can't know if that's true for certain. And moreover, I also don't know if what Thorne or the Free Cities wanted to accomplish would be better or worse, but I'm not able to act on their behalf where I am now.

[ It's more than she ever intended to say or would normally with prompting, but it is something she has put thought into. She may be a creature of moments and whims in many regards, but matters of this import are something she takes seriously. If she were the same person she was five years prior...well, she would have a lot to answer for. ]

I am not here to defend Solvunn, nor did I believe the other Summoned were doing the same. Mayhaps I shouldn't have assumed as much...what I am here to do is try to find out how this affects our stars, our homes. So that we can all return to them someday.

[ Geralt is nothing if not at ease with listening while people talk at length, so that's all he does. If he's misjudged her, it's largely due to her earlier nonchalance. And truthfully, he still isn't certain where that came from in the first place, when she asked him did someone die and insisted Solvunn had not sent anyone there to kill anyone. As if they needed to say it out loud for it to be clear whose lives they did or did not give a shit about. Which is none of the displaced Summoned. Because if she knows the other Summoned were likely also not there to defend their chosen state, then why the careless disregard for the bloodshed?

Fuck knows he has nothing against spilling blood. He's done it too many times to count. But he understands the weight of it, when it is done; it is not so much regret as a simple acknowledgment that you do not do it without an ounce of thought or simply because someone has stood in your way or because you're driven by fear of what may come to pass. That the purpose behind it matters. And while he's not judging Himeka—unlike with Estinien, he doesn't know what Himeka did on that battlefield; it's possible she was only there to search for answers and defend herself, and he can accept that—he still feels like he's. Missing something. He'd come here to gauge whether Estinien will continue to be a concern or not. He's realizing perhaps the matter lies more with Himeka, who seems to have at least considered that there is some nuance behind those who have chosen to remain where they have, Thorne or otherwise.

There's a long moment before he answers. For awhile, it seems he might not say anything at all. Eventually, though, he does speak up. ]

I'm not asking you to turn your back on what's important to you. And your past is your own. Regrets are part of living. [ He hesitates. He'd understand the situation more, if Himeka sees herself as aligned with Solvunn and so views all of them in that light, or if she were actually so naïve that she truly buys into Solvunn's neutrality. She's stated otherwise. A disconnect exists that he isn't sure how to bridge. It says something, how he feels about Himeka, that he's even bothering to attempt to bridge it at all. ] I'm asking how you can believe what you do, and yet answer the matter as you did when I brought up your friend's part.

Edited 2022-01-18 23:00 (UTC)

[ There is a little relief in that, acknowledgment of her own past mistakes. Things that she is still trying to make up for at least by how she moves forward since she knows she cannot undo what is done. She is not so proud to believe that she won't have her own fair share of missteps here too, especially without the support system she has grown so used to having, but that doesn't make her not want to take on the challenge.

His question brings a pause as she tilts her head slightly with a frown. ]

What do--

[ Oh.

Another pause. Her lips form a near perfect "oh". And it dawns on her. ]

That...was a dick-ish way to put it, wasn't it?

[ It's definitely not the first time she's written off things with a callous remark, despite how her overtly friendly nature may make her seem otherwise incapable. She's learned to take a lot in stride and doesn't apply it all appropriately when she does. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts so she can convey them with the gravity he is expecting giving the circumstances. ]

You came here not just because you wanted to know what the other factions may have been up to, but also because people you care about about were part of it, right? I should have considered that fully when I spoke. I'm sorry.

[ Himeka shakes her head. ]

I saw the signs of violence but nothing so dangerous that it would be beyond healing. It's what I would expect, so I...kind of callously jumped to a conclusion I thought was impossible. Truth be told, if someone were in such dire straights and I had the opportunity to help them, then I wouldn't be doing my job--not just as a fellow Summoned, but as a White Mage.

[ A pause as she levels her gaze on Geralt. ]

Is she alright?

[ A long while passes where he studies her in turn. He isn't looking for an apology, nor does he care if all it was is that she said some shit she didn't mean to. Just to understand what it is that's going through her head. Perhaps with her last statement, he's starting to understand what she sees.

He sighs: not dismissive, just accepting of what Himeka is saying. ] She's recovering. [ His fingers curl lightly in the grass, unsure if he wants to get into it further. Himeka continues to speak of the Dimming as though it were in isolation, but he's concerned about more than that. About what it says. About what it sets for what's to come. About how easily things could've turned out far differently.

Ultimately, it's not his place to steer for others. He wouldn't want to, either. She has told him the consequences are not lost on her, and that's enough for things as they are. Where the state of the world is concerned, it's bigger than any one of them. His reasons for wanting to speak with her, for wanting to understand what it is she's doing and why, are more personal: initially to know who he can rly on, but—as they spoke further—also concern for her, for what she might not realize she's becoming entangled in. She's reassured him well enough of the latter; the former, though... ]

I am glad to know that you're aren't acting on anyone's behalf, nor believe the others are. And I didn't mean to presume your intentions. [ His voice is level, phrasing chosen with some care. It's something of an apology of his own, if not in so many words. ] It was hard to know what to think, when your friend appears unwilling to extend the same thought to the other summoned, about why some may have seemingly chosen a side on the surface.

[ There's a reason he'd found it almost conflicting, what she's been trying to tell him. Because if Himeka herself is only alongside Solvunn to gain insight, then would Estinien not consider the same for those in Thorne, as well? Unless he doesn't know, unless he doesn't realize, but that implies Himeka has not made her intentions clear to her own friend or Estinien is that oblivious. He isn't sure about either of those. And Geralt gets the impression Yennefer gives off; in truth, if Estinien simply had a personal vendetta against Yennefer, he'd understand. Fuck if he isn't the first to acknowledge how infuriating she can be. But he also knows Estinien was quick to accuse Sam of allegiances and supporting Thorne, in the man's own home, and Sam—Sam, he does know goes out of his way not to piss people off. So all that rolled together is...more complicated.

If it weren't for Himeka, he wouldn't be here at all. But he does like her. He'd rather not drop her as an ally if he doesn't have to, just because she's close to someone he can't trust to keep a level head. There are things he's yet to tell her, solely because he isn't sure if it'll cause more problems than not should it reach more volatile hands. ]

Edited 2022-01-26 23:50 (UTC)

[ She nods, but doesn't pry further. Himeka knows well enough by now that Geralt is a private person and if he doesn't wish to share much about Yennefer's condition, that's more than enough. She knows the fight had gotten a little out of hand from the state that she saw Estinien in, but she has seen him far, far worse after much more dire battles. Admittedly Himeka had been surprised by that, but the scent of burnt aether had said enough.

What he follows up with is curious, though. Though Himeka opens her mouth to speak, she forces herself to stop and give a moment's pause to reflect. In the end, all she can really do is shake her head. ]

He and I are of the same mind on that, though mayhaps he doesn't express it the same way.

[ Estinien may be more vocal about it, but Himeka doesn't hold any particular love for Thorne either. ]

It is more difficult to imagine tying oneself even for just a while to a power that has treated us poorly, but it also wouldn't be the first time. Even so...Thorne's citizens are not those that wield its power, nor are the Summoned there. I think what he's looking for are the "whys".

[ Himeka gives a half shrug of her shoulder, brows a little heavy. ]

That isn't to say there isn't hope--because I believe there is. I do think there are people there that want to see change there right now. Maybe once we've figured out if the Singularity is either the cause of or answer to all our problems, there will be less need for this war all together.

[ Like Himeka, Geralt doesn't pry beyond that, either. Her answer tells him enough: that Estinien has made a deliberate choice to approach things as he has with all the awareness that he holds, and not out of some misguided notion. There's not much more to discuss, in the face of that. ]

There's never a need for war. It's a symptom, not a solution.

[ It grows out of wounds too deep to heal, catches like fear. Consumes everything in its way. Even without the Singularity, he doubts these territories would not find something else to squabble over for power. What else is new? But it doesn't matter. He's accepted long ago there are those who look towards war as an answer. His only concern is that he and his people are not dragged into the midst of it for the sake of choosing allegiances, and in that, he at least trusts Himeka will not do.

He rises to his feet. ] Take care of yourself, Himeka.

[ She gives the statement a moment's pause--it's one that she's thought about in the past, but hasn't reached a definitive answer to. Himeka would certainly like to live in a world without wars, and for a time that is what her life had been. Secluded, safe, but ignorant of the sufferings of others. Of the need to fight.

Since she left her village, there has always been war. Some long and quiet much as what seems to be brewing in this realm, others short and violent, or anywhere in between. Does she think many could have been avoided? Perhaps. But it is often much more complicated than that.

Needless to say, she would much prefer to live in a world where there never was a need for war. Isn't that what they strive for?

Their conversation is ending on a sour note, but Himeka offers Geralt a nod and a quiet smile all the same. ]

You as well. If there's anything I can do, just let me know.

[ She does believe they're all in this together, no matter how rocky the start may be. ]

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