[ That's what he thinks...of everyone who participated? Of Yennefer? Or is she (and her comrades) a special case? She's not so self-centered or naïve to think that it would all be about her, but she can't speak of anything but her own experience. Nor would she want to take the voice away from someone who can speak for themselves.
It just...stings. Bringing up old fears she has been trying to avoid, things she knows that inherently aren't true but sometimes cannot help but feel her only use is on the battlefield, so why not respond where she is pointed? But no matter the setbacks, Himeka is determined to be more than that.
Himeka looks down at the tart in her lap for a moment. A quiet, thoughtful moment. Then she turns he gaze back up to the now too bright sky. ]
I was that foolish once.
[ She waves her hand, bidding the light recede until the dome above them turns into a blanket of stars instead. The sunless sea. ]
I didn't think about who or why I was fighting, only that I was supposedly the only one that could do it--this particular job. So why not? It was the least I could do in turn for the freedoms that were afforded to me otherwise.
[ She settles her gaze on Geralt. ]
And in turn, I was part of a plot that nearly doomed my comrades and undercut the alliances between nations we had strove so hard to achieve.
[ Himeka sighs, dropping her fork to her knee. ]
I have made my mistakes and I want to believe I've learned from them. Or...rather continue to learn from them. We may not have been brought here by choice, but we can still make choices while we're here. I didn't elect to participate on a whim, Geralt...and not simply because fighting seems to be the thing I am best at.
[ Well, cooking aside...she wants to be best at that. ]
It is precisely because Solvunn has decided to start Summoning as well. That they had welcomed us with little to no quarrel was a boon at first and something I thought was just because they are a society of...collective effort? Everyone working together. If they truly have no interest in the Singularity then why bring others here?
[ She shakes her head. ]
I don't buy it. And I have my suspicions about their gods as well--beings they are so devoted to to the degree that they believe they can weather the war by being under their protection. I know not what experience you have with that even though we have done similar work, but...the one thing I am equipped to do above most else is face off against false gods. What that may or may not have to do with the Singularity or their goals here, I can't say. They keep their secrets and I am not particularly sneaky myself, as you likely can tell.
[ At least she's self-aware enough for that. ]
I elected to heed their call because I want to know more and to do that, I need to gain their trust. I will admit I feel some semblance of understanding if it is true that the Singularity does have a natural cycle of waxing and waning given duties I've had in the past, but I can't know if that's true for certain. And moreover, I also don't know if what Thorne or the Free Cities wanted to accomplish would be better or worse, but I'm not able to act on their behalf where I am now.
[ It's more than she ever intended to say or would normally with prompting, but it is something she has put thought into. She may be a creature of moments and whims in many regards, but matters of this import are something she takes seriously. If she were the same person she was five years prior...well, she would have a lot to answer for. ]
I am not here to defend Solvunn, nor did I believe the other Summoned were doing the same. Mayhaps I shouldn't have assumed as much...what I am here to do is try to find out how this affects our stars, our homes. So that we can all return to them someday.
no subject
It just...stings. Bringing up old fears she has been trying to avoid, things she knows that inherently aren't true but sometimes cannot help but feel her only use is on the battlefield, so why not respond where she is pointed? But no matter the setbacks, Himeka is determined to be more than that.
Himeka looks down at the tart in her lap for a moment. A quiet, thoughtful moment. Then she turns he gaze back up to the now too bright sky. ]
I was that foolish once.
[ She waves her hand, bidding the light recede until the dome above them turns into a blanket of stars instead. The sunless sea. ]
I didn't think about who or why I was fighting, only that I was supposedly the only one that could do it--this particular job. So why not? It was the least I could do in turn for the freedoms that were afforded to me otherwise.
[ She settles her gaze on Geralt. ]
And in turn, I was part of a plot that nearly doomed my comrades and undercut the alliances between nations we had strove so hard to achieve.
[ Himeka sighs, dropping her fork to her knee. ]
I have made my mistakes and I want to believe I've learned from them. Or...rather continue to learn from them. We may not have been brought here by choice, but we can still make choices while we're here. I didn't elect to participate on a whim, Geralt...and not simply because fighting seems to be the thing I am best at.
[ Well, cooking aside...she wants to be best at that. ]
It is precisely because Solvunn has decided to start Summoning as well. That they had welcomed us with little to no quarrel was a boon at first and something I thought was just because they are a society of...collective effort? Everyone working together. If they truly have no interest in the Singularity then why bring others here?
[ She shakes her head. ]
I don't buy it. And I have my suspicions about their gods as well--beings they are so devoted to to the degree that they believe they can weather the war by being under their protection. I know not what experience you have with that even though we have done similar work, but...the one thing I am equipped to do above most else is face off against false gods. What that may or may not have to do with the Singularity or their goals here, I can't say. They keep their secrets and I am not particularly sneaky myself, as you likely can tell.
[ At least she's self-aware enough for that. ]
I elected to heed their call because I want to know more and to do that, I need to gain their trust. I will admit I feel some semblance of understanding if it is true that the Singularity does have a natural cycle of waxing and waning given duties I've had in the past, but I can't know if that's true for certain. And moreover, I also don't know if what Thorne or the Free Cities wanted to accomplish would be better or worse, but I'm not able to act on their behalf where I am now.
[ It's more than she ever intended to say or would normally with prompting, but it is something she has put thought into. She may be a creature of moments and whims in many regards, but matters of this import are something she takes seriously. If she were the same person she was five years prior...well, she would have a lot to answer for. ]
I am not here to defend Solvunn, nor did I believe the other Summoned were doing the same. Mayhaps I shouldn't have assumed as much...what I am here to do is try to find out how this affects our stars, our homes. So that we can all return to them someday.